Saturday, 19 January 2013

How to Make Yourself Intelligent

I have just discovered something marvellous! This incredible innovation is certain to change the lives of slacking teenagers everywhere! The Intelligence Pill™ is guaranteed to make you 95% smarter than you really are! Ace tests, wow your friends and just generally be amazing! The Intelligence Pill™ retails at only one billion pounds per pill, and will (most likely) be shipped to your house within a hundred years of purchase. Buy The Intelligence Pill™ today and you WON’T regret it.

Okay, so maybe I don’t really have a pill that will make you super smart (I wish), but I DO have something EVEN BETTER.
Super long cool sounding words.
They make you sound like a genius, but they are completely FREE. I myself am quite sesquipedalian (given to the use of long words) and when my friends and I confabulate (discuss something) they often find me quite prolix (tiresomely wordy) as they say my extensive vocabulary is otiose (serving no useful purpose).
Here are some of my favourites:

Gallimaufry: a collection of odds and ends
Prestidigitation: sleight of hand used while performing magic tricks
Chthonic: dwelling beneath the surface of the earth
Pusillanimous: lacking courage or resolution
Hebetude: mental lethargy, stupidity or sluggishness
Esurient: extremely hungry or greedy
Ratiocination: the process of logical and methodical reasoning

 Some people may find this pointless, but for others, it may be their quiddity (the distinctive quality of someone or something). I mean, imagine complaining to your mother about how obstreperous (noisy and unruly) your siblings are. You may become invidious (likely to arouse resentment or envy) which could make you lugubrious (extremely mournful or sad), but think of how astonished your friends and family will be at your new-found intelligence! Just pop a couple of these beauties into an assignment, and you’re pretty much guaranteed and A! (no promises).
So use this cheaper alternative to The Intelligence Pill™ and I assure that you’ll be amazed by the results.


  1. Oh my goodness, I love these words.
    Hmm ... I especially like "quiddity," although my all-time favourite word is still "petrichor." :)

  2. I followed you blog, and would like to invite you to follow mine

    And those words are awesome. I'll have to keep them in mind. My favorite is ratiocination.