An IM conversation I had with a boy from school, who happens to be a total player. Ask me not his reason for wanting to go out with me; we’ve spoken about four words to each other in our entire time of schooling.
I don’t get boys.
N.B I’m a_dorkable<3 and he’s cricketfanatic801
Cricketfanatic801: Will you go out with me?
a_dorkable<3: I fear I cannot, for not only do I hold you in low esteem, my heart belong to a fictional character for whom I have much affection.
Cricketfanatic801: Why not?
a_dorkable<3: Forsooth! Are you blind, man? I hath no wish to partake in your folly. Thrust your unhonourable intentions on another; I have no need of them.
Cricketfanatic801: What? What are you even talking about?
a_dorkable<3: If that was not reason enough, you’re also an illiterate pleb. I would not burden myself with the likes of you.
Cricketfanatic801: Can you even talk like a normal person?
Cricketfanatic801: Jessi? Hello? Are you there?
Cricketfanatic801: I still want to talk to you
Cricketfanatic801: I’ll never understand you
Cricketfanatic801 has signed off
a_dorkable<3: exactly, you scoundrel.